Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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