Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
