when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
