And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
