if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
