I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
