I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
