Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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