Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
