I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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