I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
