I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
