I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
