She went from zero to smokin in five shots
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
