just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
