Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
someone owes me an orgasm
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
