Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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