She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
