If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
