i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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