I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
