I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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