he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
