it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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