i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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