Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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