Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
