I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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