Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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