Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
