But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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