5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm like, not good at living.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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