if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
