just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
