Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
