Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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