Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
