On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
