My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
