yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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