every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
