it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Four minutes until I can fart!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
