At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
