i don't like sucking hair
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
