Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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