I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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