when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
