she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
