this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
