Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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