I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
